Today is one of those big wedding anniversaries for Cyndi and me. Because of a client commitment, we’ll spend much of it apart. And because Cyndi hasn’t felt well for several weeks, we haven’t had a chance to celebrate in the weeks before – and may not even get a chance this coming weekend, either.

That might be crushing in some relationships, but I guess we’ve approached our relationship with the need to be flexible because you don’t know what’s going to happen.

So my advice for today when it comes to long-term relationships is based on our experiences. The advice is to not keep score in a relationship. Or if you can’t help yourself from keeping score, at least don’t make decisions or take actions within the relationship based on what you think the score is.

Because the score is always subject to interpretation and change.

And even if you don’t like the score in a relationship you want to last, you have to remember: You’re on the same team. That means you own both sides of the score – individually and together.

That’s my advice for today for creating and sustaining long-term relationships. – Mike Brown


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Mike Brown

Founder of The Brainzooming Group, and an expert on strategy, creativity, and innovation. Mike is a frequent speaker on innovation, strategic thinking, and social media.

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2 Responses to “One Secret to Long-term Relationships – Don’t Keep Score”

  1. Judith says:

    First – happy anniversary! Totally agree with your recommendation – although its not always easy to do. The other factor we have found is to hold ‘I’m right and you’re right too’ firmly in mind, then keep talking until the solution emerges.

  2. JoAnn Jordan says:

    Happy Anniversary. Sending prayers and positive thoughts that Cyndi feels better.