Mess Wright, who just recently opened Mess Labs in Dallas, has been an online friend for many years, and an in-person friend since August 2016.
Invariably, Mess puts words to ideas that rattle around in my head in a half-formed state. Mess not only pulls ideas together; she puts herself out there by articulating them. Here’s the most recent example of this, with Mess weighing in on business mentoring and the importance of protecting your time and attention when you are trying to make things happen.
Trust me: Mess is a person that makes things happen! - Mike
You can go ahead and file this one under, "Things You Aren't Supposed to Say but Mess Says Anyway." Oh, well, here goes:
It seems there is some sort of incubator, accelerator, or entrepreneurial center popping up everywhere lately.
I think this is supposed to (and can) be a good thing, but I have to tell you something.
I've been in this startup world for nearly a year, and I've found the majority of the "entrepreneurs" and "mentors" I've met are actually either hacks, delusional liars, con-artists, or people who are otherwise lost or unemployable.
It takes a minute to decipher the people who are actually "in business." That minute is long and hard, but my advice is to take the time to really vet people you might let into your life.
I've taken a lot of hits (mostly inside my co-working space) for pointing out the people who are time and money sucks. I've been told it's rude or impolite. I've been told "community" means "supporting" people, even people who are clearly trying to take whilst offering nothing.
I say all this because I think a lot of people romanticize self-employment or entrepreneurship. My advice for them is if you take that jump, be very selective about who gets time with you. You don't have to say Yes to every invitation, every introduction or entertain every opinion. It's way okay to be exclusive in some ways - don't let anyone tell you it's not.
Just because someone is older, more experienced, more educated, or did the thing you want to do, that does not make them mentor material. Gravitate to people who lift you up, listen to you, and help you grow. Don't worry if those people aren't marketing themselves as leaders or guides. The ones who do aren't always the support you are seeking and needing anyway.
Everyone who is in a position to refer mentors to mentees needs to also vet people better. Let's hold anyone we call "mentor" to a higher standard and drop the assumption that "accomplished" or "perceived as accomplished" translates to "can mentor." It's a horrible assumption, if you think about it. And a bad mentor figure can do amazing harm to a mentee.
Finally, if you feel you want to mentor someone ask yourself if you have the time, you have the inclination, and if you truly hold the mentee’s best interests as a priority.
If you're doing business mentoring to feed your own ego, stop. Just stop! - Mess Wright
