I’ll admit it. Yesterday kind of sucked IRL, and then I got home to see another post about how some Internet guru has decided to quit using a social media platform that now sucks and should be immediately abandoned.
Give me a break. Who the hell cares?
If any social media platform sucks so badly you have to officially quit it, why would you still need to write an official declaration about how much it sucks?
The reason?
Because there are a whole variety of things about using social media that every Internet guru needs you to believe. Think I’m kidding? 
Here is my list of 11 things every Internet guru needs you to believe about using social media (and to be more grammatically correct, each item is placed in the first person):
1. It’s a big deal when I start using a social media network in an exaggerated way.
2. If you aren’t on the new social network I’m pimping, your business (and potentially your life) is within two weeks of complete collapse.
3. It’s a big deal when I ceremoniously quit using the social media network I’ve now discovered I scorn.
4. If you’re still using the social media network I recently quit cold turkey, you’re an idiot.
5. I provide unbiased product recommendations.
6. I know lots of things and lots of people you don’t know. If you want to find out more about them, you need to “Get to know me!”
7. My excitement for an obscure topic (or one that seems characteristically odd for me to celebrate multiple times per week) is driven purely by my curiosity and personal passion, not a potential or current client relationship.
8. FILL IN THE BLANK WITH WHATEVER I SELL is King!
9. I’m not doing what I do because I’m trying to sway you to my point of view. I really don’t care what you think.
10. I know what’s in the Google search black box.
11. Edgy = Critically Important. Me = Edgy. Me = Critically Important.
Okay, that’s my social media rant for the day. Any things you’d care to add that makes you want to rant? – Mike Brown
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